When we ask people what connection means to them, the responses are just as varied as the people themselves. For some, it is a quiet conversation with a trusted friend. For others, it might be creating something side by side, laughing with teammates, or feeling understood by someone who shares a similar experience. Our understanding of connection is shaped by our stories, our cultures, and the values we carry with us.
Recently, I came across a quote by Simon Sinek that invited me to pause and see connection through a new lens as an educator. We often talk about building relationships, fostering community, and creating safe spaces. But what if connection is not just a strategy, but a basic human need woven into how we learn, grow, and thrive?
If connection truly is a basic human need, then how might we bring that understanding into this quote? For me, it all comes back to service. Not the kind of service that feels performative or transactional, but the kind that grows quietly over time, because it's rooted in a genuine desire to see and support others.
Acts of service do not appear out of nowhere. They come from a deep place, shaped by a disposition of care and connection built over years. They come from noticing, listening, and leaning in. When we choose to serve, we are really choosing to connect.
This leads me to my inquiry question: How can we build deep connections with others?
Taking it Deeper
My inquiry question stayed with me longer than I expected. I kept returning to it, out of a deep curiosity about the kind of connection that goes beyond surface-level friendships. I am drawn to those meaningful, soul-filling relationships that stretch you and remind you of who you are becoming. So I decided to explore further and began listening more closely to the words of Simon Sinek, hoping to uncover what it truly means to build the kind of connections that last.
On The Diary of a CEO podcast (May 26, 2025), Simon spoke about three elements that strengthen connections within communities: shared interests, shared values, and a sense of common good (I changed it from common ground). His words felt like an invitation. As I sat with these ideas, something began to shift. I started to see how each element invites us into deeper relationships. Shared interests might bring us together. Shared values help us stay grounded. A commitment to the common good gives us purpose beyond ourselves.
This is where my thinking began to expand and before I knew it, I was seeing connection not just as something we create, but as something we live. Here are my current thoughts.
Shared interests are not something we create, but something we live. They show up in the quiet joy of doing something we love alongside others. They offer a natural way for connection to unfold.
In a learning community, shared interests often become the heartbeat of belonging. A lunchtime sketch club, for example, might bring together learners from many different backgrounds. They may speak different languages or hold different stories, but their love of drawing brings them together. In that shared space, they begin to listen, to laugh, to learn from one another. It is not just about the sketching. It is about living connection through something they all care about.
In a learning community, shared interests often become the heartbeat of belonging. A lunchtime sketch club, for example, might bring together learners from many different backgrounds. They may speak different languages or hold different stories, but their love of drawing brings them together. In that shared space, they begin to listen, to laugh, to learn from one another. It is not just about the sketching. It is about living connection through something they all care about.
Shared values are the truths that shape how we act and what we stand for. They’re the invisible threads that guide our choices and define our learning culture.
In a learning community, shared values often become the rhythm of how we live together. A group of learners might create a class charter built on values like respect, empathy, and fairness. They may come with different perspectives and experiences, but these shared values give them a common ground. Over time, the words move beyond the page. They begin to shape how learners treat one another, how they solve problems, and how they show up in community. It is not just about the charter, but the values that hold them together.
In a learning community, shared values often become the rhythm of how we live together. A group of learners might create a class charter built on values like respect, empathy, and fairness. They may come with different perspectives and experiences, but these shared values give them a common ground. Over time, the words move beyond the page. They begin to shape how learners treat one another, how they solve problems, and how they show up in community. It is not just about the charter, but the values that hold them together.
The common good is the purpose that draws people together to contribute to something larger than themselves. It is the shared "why" that weaves through a community, offering direction and meaning even when its members come from different backgrounds, cultures, or roles. It is about choosing to live together in harmony.
In a learning community, the common good becomes something we live when everyone has a voice in shaping the environment. For example, a school might bring together learners, teachers, families, and leaders to co-create inclusive practices after noticing that not all students feel a sense of belonging. Together, they review policies, adjust school routines, and create new support systems, such as multilingual communication, inclusive celebrations, and flexible learning spaces. Their focus is not on what benefits one group, but on building a community where every learner feels valued.
In a learning community, the common good becomes something we live when everyone has a voice in shaping the environment. For example, a school might bring together learners, teachers, families, and leaders to co-create inclusive practices after noticing that not all students feel a sense of belonging. Together, they review policies, adjust school routines, and create new support systems, such as multilingual communication, inclusive celebrations, and flexible learning spaces. Their focus is not on what benefits one group, but on building a community where every learner feels valued.
Building Connection
Building Connection
Now, let’s return to my inquiry question: How can we build deep connections with others? After this short personal inquiry, I now see that deep connections are rooted in shared interests, grounded in shared values, and guided by our natural pull toward the common good. The real challenge lies in bringing these ideas to life in our daily practice, in ways that feel both manageable and sustainable.
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As I reflected on the big idea of connection, these topics naturally came to my mind. They meet both needs of developing our own capabilities while enhancing those of our learners.
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Connection invites us to look inward and outward to better understand ourselves. Whatever path you choose is the right one for where you are right now. The most important part is to stay curious, enjoy the process, and take a moment to reflect on this final question.