Lately, I have been thinking about the power of physical and mental dreams and how they manifest it reflects of our level of self-care. When I think of physical dreams, I think of ones that we have when we sleep at night. These are visions of what our mind, body, and soul desires. In these dreams, our subconcious mind unleashes messages from deep within and we can either choose to listen or not. We also have mental dreams of what the future might become. These dreams are our hopes, passions, and goals. They are deeply routed in our value system. As I embrace life in 2025, I am wondering what are my physical and mental dreams for my future as an educator, friend, and family member. Some are easily pictured in my mind based on my personal desires. While others are buried deep within due to fear and vulnerability. I recently had a dream that literally woke me up in a panic. When I woke up to process the dream, I was rather disturbed by this feeling of abandonment. I couldn't place the reasoning, but the feeling was so strong that I began to cry. With a few days of reflection, I finally realized the cause and I'm actively working towards resolving it. These moments when our subconcious comes alive can impact how we operate in the world. How is this connected to our lives as educators? It's called self-care. This term has been used in response to burn out and work/life balance. I believe our dreams speak to the our level of self-care. When we have shocking dreams, it's our subconcious sharing that something is not quite right. Conversely, when we have an affirming dream, it means that we are on the correct path. When these dreams emerge, are you listening to them? Are you trying to decipher what they might mean to you? They might be driving certain behaviors that you are unaware are happening. How does this impact our role as an educator? If we are not taking care of ourselves, it has a direct impact on how we treat our learners, how we think of ourselves as educators, and the learning that is happening. Self-care is real. It's about honoring your body and mind to recover from the pressures at work and home. Our dreams often reflect this level of self-care. What are your dreams telling you about your level of self-care? Mine are telling me that I need more balance between my physical, mental, and spiritual health. What a great time of year to calibrate and be kinder to ourselves.
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As I reflect on 2024, I have made many mistakes that have helped me to grow as a person. I took risks and it felt great. I didn't always get what I wanted, but that is part of growing as a human being. When we do finally get it, we will be a bit more appreciative or so I keep telling myself. For 2025, I want to reflect on something that I love about myself and something that can be improved. We can all grow and it shows vulnerability and truth to admit them. I'll begin. Relationship with MyselfOur relationship with ourself is the longest lasting connection we will make. Sometimes, we have to face ourselves and share what we like and need to change.
Relationship with OthersI want to find a healthy balance in my social health. I tend to squirrel away on the weekends after a long work week and chat with my friend Netflix. I'm trying to figure out what is the next best step.
Relationship with the WorldSometimes, I take things too personally. I listen to external voices tell me what I can and cannot do. I am trying to listen to the only one that matters, which is my gut instinct.
To be honest, this process of highlighting a strength and growth area has been cathartic. I needed to get these ideas down and hold myself accountable. Once I get home from my winter break, I plan to sit for awhile to map out how I might reach each goal area. Are you willing to be vulnerable do the same? I guarantee that you will feel much better on the other side and it won't feel like a list of your shortcomings, but ideas to help you to move forward. I believe that agency is a huge part of getting learners to read on their own. Not everyone is going to want to read about cats, fairies, and monster trucks. We need to provide a variety of reading materials, because everyone has different preferences. The important thing is to get learners reading on their own and doing it as much as they can.
This year, I've seen my learners turn the corner from being reluctant to avid readers who explore various topics. This is the power of agency. I've been reflecting lately about my childhood learning experiences. I had a lot of change to deal with as a young one. I often wonder how I learned to read and write, let alone be socially functioning in society. This quote by Yo-Yo Ma really touched my heart. Children are sponges for everything that happens in their environment, the good and the bad. As I look at my life and the choices I have made, I am reminded that I must have been surrounded by some amazing adults that cared for me. How are we doing the same thing for the next generation? Oftentimes in the busyness of life, we can get weighed down. This is the time that we need to remember that we are human. We are here to embrace all of our emotions and to not keep them bottled up inside until we implode. How are we teaching our young learners to embrace their humanity and to advocate for their needs? It's a challenge, but so needed. It took a long time for me to get in touch with my emotions. As a child, I was told to always hold in my feelings. This can become disasterous as we navigate adult relationships. How can we normalize emotions like sadness, so our learners feel comfortable expressing when they are NOT fine. I am trying to find a way to create a safe space for this to happen in my classroom. If you have any ideas, please feel free to share. When I was a little girl, I always heard the older women in my community tell me, "If you can't say something nice, then don't say nothing at all." I didn't realize at the time how powerful this statement was and how it shapes our very existence. As you go out in the world, there is a lot of negativity. In spite of all of this, we can still choose to be kind or note. My friend Lisa Stewart recently reminded me that we don't know the intention of other people's hearts nor their experiences. Just because they act in a certain way, it may not tell us the entire story of what they are going through. We can either add distress to the situation or we can step back and be kind. I am trying every day to be a bit kinder than I was before. I still make mistakes when someone cuts me off in the grocery store queue or existing an airplane. I must remember that I don't know what that person is going through, so I must be kind. What are your strategies or tools that help you to become a bit more kinder on a daily basis? I really appreciate this quote below by Maya Angelou, because we often beat ourselves up as educators about what we can do better. There are times that we just don't know what we don't know. This is fact.
As we gain more experience with the craft, we are able to make more informed decisions about our craft, our learners, and how to navigate things like standards or grade level expectations. One thing I see all the time with new teachers and new teachers to the PYP, is they put so much pressure to be perfect in everything that they don't have a focus. They burn out by trying to be like all of the other veteran teachers, so they don't look less competent. Please stop. You are doing a wonderful job. You are doing your best. You can't do any more than that. If you do, you may burn yourself right out of the teaching profession. A friendly reminder, it takes 5-10 years to feel like you have some grip on this thing called being a teacher. Don't buy into the myth that anyone can do it. Teaching is a craft that is built over time, so be kind to yourself. When you learn better in the future, be better. To be honest, I know of Maya Angelou, but I can't quote her regularly. When I was thinking about becoming better, this quote popped out at me. She had a way with words that touches me. Many times in my life, I've beaten myself up for not doing better. How could I have not know that? After some time, it became quite clear of my deficiency, but in the moment I couldn't see it. This seems to happen all the time to me. Anyone else experience the same thing??? The part that really sits with me is, "when we know better, we do better." This kind of takes us off the hook. We cannot be better if we don't know there is a need. Once the universe lets us know a path, we seek to become better. This is the only way I stay sane. I am constantly criticizing myself for not knowing, but you don't know what you don't know. I am getting better at it, but I still fall apart and re-read this quote. Every since I was a small child, I have been obsessed with hearts and rainbows. Blame it on the time of my childhood, between the glorious 70s and 80s, or the increase of rainbows in the world through Rainbow Brite, My Little Pony, and the Care Bears. This sense of being happy has stayed with me throughout my life. I'm not happy all the time, but most of it. I try to look beyond what is right in front of me and see the bigger picture or the lesson to be learned. We all face dark clouds. Find your rainbow that can shine a light on your gloomy day. Big hugs! I have made so many mistakes in my life. Ones that make me cringe and others I'm grateful that social media did not exist to capture it. We all make mistakes, so we have to stop beating ourselves up when they happen. Our youth is meant to be a time of exploration and risk-taking. It's a time to figure ourselves out and hopefully know where we want to go next. We will mess up. In those moments, let us remember to forgive ourselves and remember that we are simply human. We have gone through a lot these past few years. It's easy to complain, feel bad, and remember the better times. I get it. I have been there a couple of times myself recently wishing for a different outcome. Then, I sit back and think about the things I have in my life that many do not: loving family relationships, lasting friendships, general health and well-being, and a dog. These things matter. A person that has opened my mind has been Gary Vaynerchuk. He is a well known businessman and influencer that speaks openly about gratitude, patience, and accountability. In watching a recent video, it reminded me once again to be grateful to be alive for one more day to do the things that I love on this planet. Warning: Gary does curse a bit, but his message is what I listen to. If it offends you, I apologize in advance. This quote by Brené Brown is the essence of vulnerability. We do it anyway, even when there is no chance for success. This can be in the form of a relationship, job, move, education, money, etc. Everyone is going to be vulnerable based on what they are currently worried about. The key is to realize that we are not worried about winning or losing. We are here to do what is right and move ourselves forward. This is hard and long. It's not about gaining short wins, but playing the long game. What are you willing to be vulnerable about? I am letting go of my self-doubt and trying to take on more challenges that frighten me. It's not because I love constant challenges. This is not me. The main reason is so I don't regret my life by holding on to status quo. While I was writing this down, this image came into my mind. Most of the time, our most vulnerable point is where the magic happens. I have been reading one of Robert Holden's books on happiness. It's quite simple, true happiness is so entrenched within that things that occur in the world can have no impact. I want to live this way. It's difficult to be sure, but it's about our longevity of life. Something that will stay with me throughout my life is the positivity that exudes from my father. Ever since I can remember, he has always been so jolly and talkative to every clerk in a grocery story. One day, I asked him why he was so happy all the time. He shared, "Every day, I wake up to a new morning. I am alive, so I choose to be happy."
Living with this wisdom reminds me to continuously champion the positivity, even when we don't feel like it. We all have days where it's a struggle to get out of bed and face the world. In those moments, remind yourself that you made it to a new day. You have already conquered half of your battles already. My dad is the type of old man that everyone knows. He talks to everyone. He shares his stories and jokes even if people aren't interested. Why? He is happy. One day, I asked my dad why he was so happy all the time. His response, "Kiddo, to be happy is a choice. Everyday, I choose to wake up and be happy. Life is too short." This really made me think about all the days that I have chosen to be miserable, irritable, or sad. I made the decision to allow my thoughts to impact my mood. I entertained the feelings of discontent, instead of pushing them from my mind and choosing to be happy. Today, I choose to feel happy. I choose to take responsbility for my own actions and no one else's. How about you? I've had an interesting interactions with this word. In my childhood, it equaled pain, suffering, and punishment. I didn't want to be associated with this word, so I remained quiet and compliant. Yet, there is a flipped side to this word. Sometimes, we make choices and there is a positive reaction beyond our greatest imagination. This is also consequence. Let's make sure we use both the positive and negative sides, so we don't have another generation fearing this word. Something that has transformed my life has been sketching. It's become part of who I am and how I process the things happening in my world. We all have our happy days, moments we are frustrated, and others where we don't want to get out of bed. This has helped me along with exercise to balance out those melancholy days, because I express the immediacy of my needs. Below represents my feelings of the final day of the VeeCon community panel applications. In one week, I'll know if I am on a panel or if I buy a ticket. To be honest, I'm fine with either just so I can attend. My heart would love to speak about my passion about making education a safer place for entrepreneurship. But, I recognize that some dreams are delayed. It's okay. The main point is to put our dreams, fears, hurts, and life onto the page. As a society, we don't journal anymore. This is my way of capturing all of the feelings I have inside and chronicling my life. Isn't it great to find the way that works the best for you? I'm starting my sketch club to help others to find their voice too. We all have those days where we feel like hiding under the covers and eating an entire tub of Bluebell Ice Cream. If you haven't tried it, you need to visit Texas right away! There are other days where we wake up on the weekend full of positive vibes and we want to share it with the world. This is how I felt this morning. After a long battle with a project, I was finally able to crack through it on Friday, which made me feeling positively alive. What moments have made you feel the same way? Everything we create is in response to who we are, how we are feeling at that moment, and what we hope to become. I've always believed in my capability in the workplace, even when surrounded by naysayers. It's something I had instilled in me as a child growing up in an LDS household. Unlike popular myths, I grew up loving myself and continuously reaching for my potential. I've always been slightly overweight and conscious of my physical presence. This can be something that makes us wonder: Am I good enough? Am I pretty or handsome enough? Should I just stay home? Do I have value? In re-reading The Four Agreements, I was reminded that the dream we have in our own minds is not true, so don't take them personally. Be mindful of the reel that is replaying in your mind. Is it helping or hurting you? If it's hurting you, can you find a new tune to replace it? As we venture into our week, remember that you have value just as you are. You don't need to change to attract people that are going to love you. It will happen. You just have to love yourself first so it can happen. To ensure that I live to make this quote come true, I have decreased the people I engage with on a regular basis, the types of films that I watch, and music I listen to on Spotify. All of these messages can attack our sense of value. The greatest addition to my life has been sketching everyday. This has helped me to regulate my feelings, fears, and shortcomings in a positive way, so they don't fester. This is part of growing up. If I were to hang out with any group all day, it would be my fellow Hot Chocolate Design collectors. I'm obsessed with my shoes and they make me feel beautiful. What makes you feel sensational? Every once in a while, we have a moment where we pause and ask ourselves, "Has my vision for my life changed the in the past few years?" The answer is usually "YES!" As we grow into mature humans, our vision of what we want changes. As a young 20 something, I wanted to be married to a man with good hair, a kind soul, and looked like Christian Slater. Now, my dreams are focused on what I can control. I look at the balance between my physical, social, spiritual, and mental health. Am I meeting all my needs? If not, what do I need to change to have them met? Something that added greatly to my life is a vision board. It doesn't have to be fancy. It's just a place to put your dreams, hopes, and desires. By looking at the vision board, you are activating your subconscious mind to change. I can't tell you how many times I've met my goals, because I placed them in front of my daily vision. Now, I use a canvas with printed pictures and post-its. It's not perfect, but it has my hopes and dreams for my future. I've grown so much in the past three years, because of a vision board. I hope you will find the courage to start one too. My undergraduate program was in Organizational Communications, which explains my need to express myself. During one of my degree courses, we were challenged to engage in the power of self-talk. My professor encouraged us to walk around for a period of two weeks and speak of future goals as if they were happening today. I was very committed to the challenge and engaged whole-heartedly. When people asked me how I was doing, I would reply, "Wonderful! Next year, I am going to live in Australia." I did this until the day my mentor professor asked me, "How will you pay for it?" I immediately followed up with the comment, "I don't know, but I know the universe will make it happen." Fast forward a year and I'm a finalist for the Cultural Ambassadorial Scholarship with Rotary International. I was granted one of five spots granted out of 2,000 applicants. It was meant to be. We all have dialogue that runs around in our mind that holds us back.
The messages that we say to ourselves directly impact our achievement. Two years ago, I was offered a position that would add 20% more stress, but not 20% more pay. I knew my power to affect change was limited. I looked at myself in the mirror and asked myself, "Are you brave enough to do this?" The response was a resounding, "Yes, I know I can do this. It may be a little scary, but you will be alright." This is the moment that I envisioned myself as an educational consultant. How are you going to use self-talk to help you move forward? I used to think strength was being aggressive and going for what you want. We see examples everyday of people who are at the top of their game, but they sacrifice their relationships with others to get there. As I've matured, I understand the strength in stillness and humility. It's not always about winning the game, but enduring the long game. Now, my definition of strength has expanded to this... I've encountered some hurtful situations this past year. It's taken all of my strength to forgive and let go. It's not easy by any means, but I think this is the true definition of strength. It's easy to hold a grudge, but it's harder to let it go. I've been contemplating my mental, physical, social, and spiritual health as a result of my frequent travel schedule. I have made numerous goals that never quite materialize and wonder what it will take to change my habits. Only I can make the change. While creating the change, I need to honor both my body and spirit by giving myself some grace. I will make mistakes, because I am human. When moments of weakness occur, I pick myself up and try all over again. I've been reflecting a lot as I've been journaling my thoughts and feelings. Ideas come to me from inspirational cards, podcasts, conversations, and my own thoughts. My hope is that it inspires us all to give ourselves some grace as we living this human experience. I have made so many mistakes in my life that I've lost count. I remember as a young adult that my number #1 goal was to be free of guilt from making mistakes. Little did I know that this would be a life long journey. In re-reading the Four Agreements again, I was captured by these ideas, When you do your best you learn to accept yourself. But you have to be aware and learn from your mistakes. Learning from your mistakes means you practice, look honestly at the results, and keep practicing. This increases your awareness. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and try better next time. Be kind to yourself. |
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