C31: Building Relationships with International Mindedness

by Lu Gerlach

​We’ve already talked about how to build relationships in past blog posts.  They are paramount in building a program of inquiry.  This post, we are going to discuss the deeper connections we make when building relationships founded on international mindedness.  I feel like the smiling emoji with sweat running down its forehead.  It sounds nice on paper, but how do we execute it in a classroom. 

​When we think about building relationships that lead to international mindedness, we naturally connect to building school culture.  They support each other in building lasting relationships of trust where understanding happens.  It’s difficult to lay a strong culture when community members lack trust in each other. 

We will explore how to break down the barriers with other community members that think differently than ourselves.

Beliefs and Values

​At the core of our being is our beliefs and values.  They shape how we see the world and what we believe in.  Beliefs and values are often misunderstood.  For this reason, it’s important to go below the cultural iceberg to understand the intricacies of the values that shape our school community. This simple act will build a relationship of trust. 

I’ll never forget chatting with one of my Muslim colleagues one lunch break about my beliefs and values as a Christian woman.  We were both born in the United States, but met while working in Dubai.  During our chat, we laughed at some of the common rituals that we embrace that reflect being a “religious” person.  The thing I took away from the chat is that asking questions about beliefs and values is extremely personal.  If done with love and pure intent, it can open up to a new level of understanding.  I’m proud to say that we are still in contact so many years later and I was able to teach her daughter in 4th grade. 

Understanding the various beliefs and values within our community helps to create relationships and support a strong school culture. 

Norms

​Every culture is governed by norms.  Do you know all of the cultural norms that your students follow when they are not at school?  Obtaining this information is super important, because they break down misconceptions about our differences. 
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When I worked in an all girls school in Dubai, I was taught the power of emotional intelligence in respecting cultural norms.  At a parent conference meeting, I remember extending my arm out to shake a father and mother.  The father looked at my hand, put his hands behind his back, and stepped backwards.  At that moment, I knew I had violated a social norm, but I didn’t know what it was.  Then the father explained, “In my culture, we do not touch the hand of the opposite gender outside of our immediate family.  This is to show respect to my wife and children. I hope you won’t be offended that I did not take your hand.”

When dealing with cultural norm differences, emotional intelligence plays a huge part in how we receive the message.  I had two choices: 

OPTION 1
​Become offended that a parent refused to shake my hand and look at it as a disrespect of my own cultural norms. 

OPTION 2
​Understand that all cultures have norms and to respect the difference.  I am a guest in Dubai and need to respect the heritage and ways of doing things in the country. 

​​I clearly chose option two and utilized my emotional intelligence to not replicate the mistake again in future parent conferences. This is so important in building relationships that lead towards international mindedness.  There will be times that you face situations that are radically different than our own, but the internationally minded person respects the difference.  

Roles

​Every culture has distinct roles that people take upon themselves based on age, gender, and location. In understanding roles, we can better understand how the culture is governed and how to encourage these roles in our school community. 

Last summer, I was fortunate to attend a friend’s wedding on a Navajo Indian reservation.  One of the unique things most people don’t understand is that it's a matriarchal society.  All of the financial and family decisions are determined by the female leaders.  Growing up in a society traditionally governed by men, I was fascinated by the uniqueness of this culture.  

Our roles determine a lot of our place in society and where we fit in the world.  It wasn’t very long ago that women were stay at home mothers or spinsters who were allowed to be teachers, secretaries, or nurses.  Since that time, our roles within the workplace have greatly expanded to allow for a lot of choice.  

Just like western culture has shifted, we need to be mindful that indigenous cultures have also changed over time.  By sharing our cultural roles, we are able to compare and contrast our many similarities and slight differences 

This is the end of our international mindedness series.  Be sure to check out confessions ​#32-34 to apply our learning of agency, action, the learner profile, and international mindedness!