C134 (Book Club): Supporting Culturally Responsive Relationships with our Learners (pg 72-87)

​Something I’ve been thinking about has been learner relationships and why they are not the primary focus in many elementary classrooms.  Usually within the first month of school, teachers are building systems and routines of how the classroom will operate, but do they really take the time to get to know their learners personally?  Zaretta Hammond points out, “Too often though, we ignore the quality of our interactions with students and instead focus primarily on the curriculum.”  

​As a teacher and PYP curriculum coordinator, I saw this all the time.  Teachers jump right in to setting the classroom expectations and how the students would behave in response to these expectations. I once heard a teacher tell me to be mean until Christmas break and then show them a sweeter side.  When you are born in the decade of hearts, rainbows, and unicorns, this approach will not work for you. 

There is something to be said for being a teacher and friend.  I was never the friend in my classroom, but I wasn’t a dictator either.  My learners knew my expectations of them and myself.  There were many times that these expectations were undermined and I had to come in with my lethal teacher stare.  You know the one that I mean…a cross between a Disney villain (take your pick) and your mother.  In my case, she was a teacher too, so it was a double dog stare. When a learner received the hard stare, they knew they had crossed the line and breached some trust. 

As a coordinator, I was pressured to get to the curriculum right away instead of doing that fluffy stuff, such as relationship building.  With so much pressure on my shoulders, I caved and gave into the populace.  Unfortunately, this single decision created a rift between me and my staff, because I proceeded to make changes before building relationships.  

​
This past August, I heard a quote that has stayed with me throughout this school year. 

Rules before relationships = rebellion.  I don’t care about the age of the learner, because they all react the same way.  We are “hardwired for relationships after living in communal, cooperative settings for millions of years,” per Hammond.   “At the core of positive relationships is trust.  Caring is the way that we generate the trust that builds relationships.”  

​As we think about this statement, how do we build trust within our relationships with learners?  Hammond continues, “We have to not only care about students in a general sense but also actively care for them in a physical and emotional sense.”  How does this connect to the brain?  Hammond purports, “The brain feels safest and relaxed when we are connected to others we trust to treat us well.  It responds to this sense of connection by secreting oxytocin, called the bonding hormone. Oxytocin makes us want to build a trusting relationship with the other person we are interacting with.”  

As an educator, you are probably wondering, how do I bring about more trust within my relationships with my learners, so they feel like they can trust me.  Hammond suggests that it comes through simple gestures such as a smile, simple nod of the head, a pat on the back, a touch on the arm, or other forms of confirming behavior.  Learners are hungry for these simple reassurances that we care about as educators.  To be honest, my response was…doesn’t everyone do this?  Isn’t this what we are supposed to do when creating a classroom of trust and safety?  

Then, I sit back and reflect.  There are several teachers who come to mind that I’ve known throughout my career that yelled at learners, shoved workbooks into their hands instead of teaching them, and made learners feel like they were a visitor in the teachers classroom.  I can’t say that I’ve never done those things too.  I’ve been pressured to be that type of teacher, so I wouldn’t outshine members of my team.  I played along until I realized the damage it was doing to my learners and stopped. 

One teacher told me, “This is the only way they will respond.  They are like animals and will run over us if we are too nice.”  I whole-heartedly disagree.  I saw the same learners shout out my name in the hallways and run up to give me a hug on the way to class.  I couldn’t understand how these kiddos were disrespectful in class, so I had to step back and analyze the teacher/learner relationship.

Hammond speaks about the connection between rapport (a student knows a teacher cares about them), alliance (building a relationship of trust) with cognitive insight (the ability to critically and creatively think.)  I sit and ponder this simple algorithm, I think of my own young life as a selective mute.  

In high school, I had an English Teacher named Mr. Jensen for two years.  He was passionate about the music of Kenny G, poetry, and prose.  He would babble on about the power of words and how they shape our thinking of the world.  His goal was for us to connect with the ideas that we were exploring, especially for those of us who were terrified to speak them out loud.  Somehow, I felt a rapport with Mr. Jensen and soon I was trying out new ways of writing that helped me to find my voice.  All it takes is a little bit of trust to move a learner forward. 

“Affirming is simply acknowledging the personhood of each student, appreciating all aspects of them, especially those culturally specific traits that have been negated by the dominant culture.  Validation, on the other hand, is your explicit acknowledgement to students that you are aware of the inequities that impact their lives.”  

How do we make this happen?  Hammond suggests some listening with grace and trust indicators on pages 78-79 that may help you.  I’m more interested in something that is more specific and applicable, so your learners know you affirm their personhood.  This process is going to require some vulnerability on your part, so you can move your practice forward. 

On pages 82 to 85, Hammond gives step by step directions on how to assess your level of rapport with your students by examining a particular learner in your classroom.  Are you ready to find out what is happening?  I will only provide some brief ideas, so you will need to read for deeper step by step directions. 

• Identify a specific student you would like to build a deeper partnership with
• Assess the quality of your relationship with this student
• Create a protocol to capture your interactions and level of listening
• Keep track of your interactions and analyze the data
• Identify one small change you can make to build more trust
• Track this progress of this change and how it impacts your relationship
• Reflect on the strategies that work, did not work, and modifications you need to make to your practice. 

Naturally, this is just a broad overview and you need to internalize the process for yourself and your context.  This is not a one-size-fits-all process.  Hammond poses a question that really resonated with me that might close this session. 

How would you characterize your relationship with students of color, English learners, or other students who are different from you?  I can’t speak for you, but I would say my response is curiosity.  I’m always wondering why people do things differently and if they know the nuisances of their behavior.  I get my learners to question why do some things out of habit and research the cultural or communal connections.  Oftentimes, these rituals are put in place by family, so they could remember where they came from.  I love that notion.  

Let’s be better at making the time to build relationships with our learners.  It may be easier for us primary/elementary homeroom teachers.  It’s still doable for specialist and supporting teachers.  It may take you a bit longer, but it’s possible.  I can’t wait to hear how you make it happen, so we can support our secondary teachers to do the same. 

Zaretta Hammond states, “Caring is one of the major pillars of culturally responsive teaching.  This reality stands in contrast to the dominant factory model of school, with its focus on the technical aspects of curriculum coverage and testing to sort and label students.  In the factory model, relationship building is seen as a secondary issue related to classroom management more than learning. “